Signs that your Valentine isn't your Valentine

Everyone needs a Valentine but that doesn't mean we should settle for less. Valentine's Day is the day for lovers, but it can also be a gauge for finding out if your lover really loves you. If you want to know whether your Valentine cares or if it's just a game, look for signs of fading- or nonexistent- affection.

If you can't find your Valentine

Communication is not as complex as talk show hosts and magazine columnists make it seem. Yes, there is a time to sit down and verbally duke it out but every conversation shouldn't be like pulling teeth. If their cellular plan sucks, then it might be understandable. If, however, you can never get in touch with them and they don't tell you much when you do, then you should question whether they even like you. In any relationship, one person shouldn't be doing all of talking.

If your Valentine plays games

They expect you to guess what they want and they get mad when you don't. Not just for a present either, for everything. Some people watch too many soap operas, and every relationship has to be based on a formula. Women who insist on being a princess, men who insist they are 'playas'. It's funny once, but when you realize that this person really sees themselves playing this role in everyday life, then you get out. You shouldn't have to be anyone's supporting actor.

If your Valentine doesn't appreciate your gift

Okay, everyone has given a weird gift in their life- especially married people. How would you react if your girl bought you a Dilbert tie or your guy springs a leopard print dress (just like his moms) on you? So, if you think about it later and realize that your gift really did suck, fine.

However, if you searched high and low for the perfect diamond necklace and she complains that it's not square cut, then you've got a problem. Besides having bad manners, your Valentine doesn't appreciate you. Remember in first grade, you brought your mother a macaroni necklace and she made a huge fuss over it? That's how love is. That doesn't mean you should just get 'whatever'- it means that someone who loves you should recognize when you've done your best.

If your Valentine gets you something ridiculous

Don't be ungrateful. A not-so-great gift is not a bad gift. But if you're a Cowboys fan and he buys you a Redskins jersey, then something's wrong. It's one thing to be bad at picking out presents, another to be totally clueless about someone you are supposed to love. So, if you're an animal lover and she buys you a fur coat, you two have some talking to do.

All of these signs in themselves do not spell break-up. They only suggest deeper problems. If your Valentine shows some of these signs, but you are otherwise happy with them, then why mess with a good thing?

However, by the time you see some of these issues, you've probably already begun to suspect that something is wrong. Think deeply about where the romance is going- or if it's there at all.

author: Stephanie Moore

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